When your marriage is on the rocks, there are many signs which will indeed tell you so. For starters, you two won’t talk as much. And if you do, you’ll find something or the other to disagree about. Moreover, you don’t feel like doing romantic gestures for each other anymore like you did during the honeymoon phase of the relationship and you cannot even remember the last time you two had sex.
If any of these ring a bell to you, then it’s a good thing that you have found yourself here. If you are getting a signal that things are not working out and you want to genuinely save a marriage, then this article will be your guide.
Broken Marriage Meaning
In order to successfully help your relationship survive the troughs and crests of a marriage, you must have a better understanding of a broken marriage. A marriage is said to be broken when the partners are not able to align their differences and make compromises in order to live a peaceful, harmonious life. The relationship is characterized by a lack of mutual trust, communication and commitment. Infidelity may also cause damage to the relationship. Constant bickering and relationship arguments might be another reason behind a marriage being broken. Some couples are able to get the necessary freedom from a burdening relationship, while there are some whose lives have become unbearable due to the pain and heartbreak of a broken marriage. So whether you both fall in the first category or the second depends on how you deal with the marriage issues. Maybe you want to let the marriage go and be on your way to recover from the loss, or perhaps you want to save whatever is left of your marriage.
6 Signs Of A Broken Marriage
To save a broken marriage, you need to first ascertain whether you are in one. Just because you’ve had a dry spell in your bedroom for a couple of weeks does not necessarily mean that your marriage is on the brink of desecration. Little issues, occasional fights and minor disturbances are all okay as long as they are not prolonged. But if you see some of these signs together, then it is possible that you two are in trouble and you need to do something soon to mend a broken marriage.
1. Lack of communication
The first thing that happens when a marriage goes for a toss is the complete breakdown of communication. And no, we don’t just mean the time your husband forgot to bring the Cheddar cheese in his grocery shopping. Since there is so much distance between the two of you, none of you try to bother communicating your feelings to one another. Whether it’s feelings of love, anger or anything else, it seems pointless to express anything to the other person. You find it much easier to just be occupied in your own life. If such feelings are creeping into your marriage, it is possible that your relationship is going downhill.
2. Even when you’re together, you’re not
Even when you try to do things you did together earlier, it might not feel the same way anymore. Perhaps it was your thing to throw a frozen pizza in the oven and watch the show Community together on the weekends. But even when you follow that routine now, it doesn’t feel the same anymore. You no more have the same excitement, the same love or the same kind of comfort when you share that space and time with your spouse. This can be one of the biggest unhappy marriage signs to look out for.
3. There is no more sex
Physical intimacy is just as important as emotional intimacy to keep a marriage afloat. It’s okay if you’re not having earth-shaking sex three times a week. But if you have indeed gone months without touching each other, there might be cause for concern. And if other ways of showing affection are completely absent from your marriage, there is a deeper issue there. Things like forehead kissing, back rubs, hugging, etc are all sweet and considerate ways of showing love. If you can’t remember the last time you kissed your wife on the cheek, you might be in dire need to save a broken marriage.
4. You’ve forgotten what you used to like about them
Maybe you fell in love with how passionately he paints and you used to be thrilled about dating an artist, or you love that he visits his mother every weekend. Maybe you used to love that your wife just needed an excuse to cook casseroles for her friends or how excited she gets at the Outlet mall. Whatever you used to like about them – no matter how big or small – are things you do not see in them anymore. Because the distance between you two has increased so much, you can’t even seem to recall what you like about them, let alone feel that way again.
5. You’ve considered emotional cheating
Your marriage is so emotionally vapid that you tend to seek those feelings elsewhere. In your current marriage, you are not getting the love and happiness that you want, which is why your mind is wandering off to other places. Maybe you’ve had some minor feelings for a coworker or have started feeling attracted to a friend. You know you need to do something to save a marriage the moment you consider infidelity or looking for love somewhere else.
6. You feel unhappy in general
Perhaps, the biggest indicator that your marriage needs help is when you start feeling more morose or lonely than usual. You might not be able to pinpoint the reason exactly to your partner or to your marriage but you do, in general, feel more anxious. You might even show signs of depression. You might see your friends more or go out more often to distract yourself from what’s happening at home but you don’t really feel like yourself anymore. In such a case, think about whether your married life has a role to play.
12 Tips To Successfully Save A Broken Marriage
No one can predict the percentage of marriages that can survive and stay strong in the face of adversities that envelop the relationships. Plus it is very difficult to make a decision as to whether to save the marriage or to just let it go. However, if you feel that there is still some hope left, then here are the 12 ways in which you can heal a broken marriage and set it on the right track once again.
1. Relive the memories of the past
You definitely must have had amazing experiences with your partner in the past. So it is time you relive those memories and try to remember what it was like to love your partner truly and unselfishly. Maybe you have forgotten about the good qualities that made you fall for your spouse in the first place. By reliving the moments of the past, you might feel encouraged to actually make your relationship work and rekindle love that you thought was lost!
2. Repair the severed line of communication between the two of you
Want to fix a broken marriage without counseling? Then read this carefully and it might save you a trip to the therapist. Misunderstandings and issues in the relationship emerge when you both fail to communicate clearly and openly with each other. Thus, becoming comfortable with one another and communicating your thoughts and opinions is extremely important. Do not just share your thoughts, but also listen to your partner’s desires and needs. In this way, you can mend the relationship in a mature way.
3. Evaluate yourself in an honest manner to save a broken marriage
It doesn’t actually need to be a big issue all the time, but various small things can actually ruin a relationship. Perhaps your marriage is facing problems because you have done or said something wrong, you did not know how to handle a particular responsibility after marriage or you have failed to give your spouse an important place in your life. Take a step back and evaluate yourself, so that you understand the mistakes you have made and might actually be able to fix your relationship.
4. Try to resolve issues in a smart manner
If you both have the habit of arguing over useless matters and blaming each other for the marriage problems, then you must resolve issues in a smart manner. Do not let anger and ego control you. Whenever you feel like a matter is going out of hand, take a break and get back to the matter later on. It’s all about how you conduct yourself in that moment. If you resort to saying hurtful things, all your efforts of saving a broken marriage will go in vain. Be extra conscious when discussing serious matters. If the matter is trivial, then avoid discussing it again, as no good will come out of it.
5. Do not involve a third person in your marriage
You will aggravate the issues in your married life by discussing them with a third person, whether a family member or a close friend. By involving the third person, you will show your spouse that you do not trust him/her enough to sort out the issue amongst yourselves. This might make your husband jealous or your wife a really insecure woman. Your partner might also think that you are not respecting his/her privacy by doing this. So avoid it at all costs if you are serious about wanting to save a marriage.
6. To mend a broken marriage, spend valuable time with one another
In order to reconnect with each other, both your spouse and you must make it a point to spend valuable time with one another. Both of you can sit down together and make a schedule in which the different ways of reconnecting can be jotted down. Go out for movie dates, long drives, strolls in the park, picnics, weekend romantic gateways etc, so that you all can make your bond stronger.
7. Support each other to become better people
It is essential that after marriage you both are able to grow individually and then contribute mutually to the survival of the relationship. Thus, you must not get jealous of your spouse’s accomplishments, but be proud of him/her. Also encourage one another to become better persons, so that your relationship can ultimately benefit from it.
8. Appreciate the efforts of your spouse
Usually, couples drift apart because they are not able to appreciate each other in a meaningful and positive manner. So do not make the same mistake. Whenever you notice your partner doing something especially for you, make an effort and praise him/her. Maybe just a simple thank you from your side will be enough to make your partner feel appreciated and loved. Think of ways to show someone you care and shower some extra love on them!
9. Bring back sexual intimacy and fun in your married life
A majority of the relationships need saving because the couples have forgotten to become sexually intimate with each other and are unable to satisfy one another’s sexual desires. If you are one such couple, then you should think about ways to boost sexual intimacy and that could be the key to save a broken marriage. Make a list of things your partner loves to do in bed, dress up sexily especially for your better half and make sexual advances to lift up the mood of your husband/wife. There is a good chance that working on your sexual intimacy might save your marriage from ruin.
10. Settle financial matters clearly
How to restore a broken marriage? It is noticed that couples generally destroy their relationships by fighting over financial matters. Therefore, it is very important that you both sit and set financial boundaries and sort out the money issues in your relationship. If you both are working, then decide to make equal contributions to the financial corpus so that arguments can be avoided. If you are earning and your husband/wife is supported by you, then do not become arrogant about it. Take responsibility for your spouse in a positive manner.
11. Approach a marriage therapist/counselor
There is no harm in taking the help of an experienced and trained marriage therapist/counselor if you notice the signs that your relationship needs to be fixed with the help of an expert. At the start, you might feel embarrassed to open up to another person about your married life. But opening up will eventually lead to better results and you will be able to cope with your marital problems in a mature manner. Ask your spouse to accompany you so that you both can sort out issues together.
12. Learn to trust the process of healing to save a marriage
Remember that the damage caused to your relationship will not be repaired overnight. Saving a relationship requires patience and continuous perseverance. You have to believe in the healing process and give time to your marriage to work out on its own. In the meantime, keep making efforts to make your relationship healthier and save a marriage in your own way. The thought of giving up on your relationship should never cross your mind. We hope you get the necessary strength to work for the survival of your broken marriage and are able to beat all odds to have a prosperous future together with your spouse.
